As I sit here listening to my boyfriend play video games and the sound of the Kalamazoo Central Commencement ceremony on t.v. in the next room all I can think is, he's really just a person. I'm referencing the start struck atmosphere of the entire Kalamazoo area as President Obama is slated to speak at the graduation ceremony.

The kids worked hard for this and I am very happy for them. I am just wondering what I would think and feel back then. I think about every time I have ever been around anyone that is even remotely famous. I am pleased to meet them, but typically just want to have a conversation with them like any other normal person I see and do not feel star struck.

I remember one day I was sitting at my lunch table in college. Apparently, one of my class mates had invited our University President to sit with us after chapel that day and he actually did. (That part was more of a shocker than anything else.) I ended up somehow sitting across from him with my roommate on his right. As we passed glances across the table at each other, I began to see that no one had any desire to even speak around him.

I couldn't take it. I was going...but he's just a person, why are we acting like this? So, I broke the ice and I asked him a question about his sermon. LOL of all things it was a simple question, "How did you not know you were going the wrong way into the carwash?" This allowed my classmates and I to hear the rest of the story which was funny. And even after we were all laughing and relaxed a little more, I was the only one talking. We swapped embarrassing stories and both griped about our homework loads to finish the degrees we were working on. See, like I said, he was just another guy.

You know what happened after that? Nothing of major significance. But, one day, months later I was out at hobby lobby of all places and President Roberts walked by me with his daughters and said hello to me by name.

It doesn't take being all star struck to be remembered. It doesn't make an even more special. In fact most people in famed situations prefer to just be talked to like they were someone you have known forever and not like "you're their biggest fan."

Just something to think about.

Thank you Aunt Lynn

When we ride together, the sun feels warmer, the wind seems cooler, the road seems longer.

When we ride together I feel your strength feeding mine.

When we ride together I know I am the strongest I have ever been.

When we ride together I remember to count my blessings and say my prayers.

When we ride together all can think is "Thank you."

Thank you for your love.

Thank you for your generosity.

Thank you for caring for me.

Thank you for all it is that I have only because of you.

Today we bought dog food.

It's an interesting thing how the events of our lives really shape how we see the world. I am thinking mostly of myself of course. In quick synopses I have been in a truly life threatening car accident, I lost an aunt and uncle to cancer three months after losing my brother to suicide and 3 short years later was divorced from my husband of 8 years. So, when I see someone who I know well enough to know when they aren't acting like themselves I have a specific frame of reference to compare what I'm seeing to in their behaviour. I may not be right about my guess and I can only confirm by asking, but, it's an interesting thing to compare that framework against other people.

Today Lucy and I were in a store that we frequent; a merchant where we know the staff in the store really well. When I stopped by today I noted that the proprietor was looking extremely self-conscious and almost depressed and on top of that she asked me how I was doing at least 4 times in 5 minutes. I completely caught her off guard and she took longer than normal to place me. And if I had to pinpoint what was going on I would guess first and foremost at something that is similar to one of my own experiences...indicated by weight loss, a new hairstyle and the aforementioned state of mind.

I didn't take the time to ask what was going on, based on her body language I didn't feel she wanted to talk about it. Of course I'm concerned, I have been a patron at her store for the last 4 years. Now of course this guessing is what causes trouble and how rumors start, but it can be so hard not to apply my own life's experiences to the outward appearance of what I see in my friends.

But it's also these experiences that we go through that allow us to know based on cues the basics of what may be going on with people we care about without having to ask. So, I guess it just comes down to balance. If you've been through something and feel you can identify what may be going on in another person's life then I guess it stands to reason that you should first and foremost remember how hard it was for you to go through and then use the same discretion you would prefer to have used if it were you on that side of the table when you consider spreading rumors or gossiping about what you saw.

you ever just get bored...

So a short while ago I was sitting around trying to think of what to buy at the grocery store to make or dinner that week. I began to think about how tired I was of boring food and how just fed up I was with eating all sorts of fast food or pre-packaged food. That line of boredom led me to go and scope out a couple of foodie magazines with recipes in them (of course). Picked one out and thankfully it did it's job, I was inspired. But now I understand that the Chicago style crust that I thought was too much work will be worth it, because I still hate thin crust pizza, even homemade.

I will say though I have impressed myself some this week. I have made 3 meals from scratch varying in difficulty and I have enjoyed my dinner each night. Monday was pork spare ribs in a citrus chipotle marinade with corn on the cob cooked on the grill, Tuesday was homemade chicken and green pepper pizza, tonight was chipotle chicken cheese steaks. The last one was super easy and was super tasty and no there was no intentional correlation between Monday's meal and today's, I bought the marinade before I decided to make these cheesesteaks.

I am definitely on a roll, I think I will make this a pattern. I think I will start picking up a foodie magazine every once in awhile and start working my way into making better food. This has been a tasty week and there has been no "omg that gross" from my darling boyfriend. HAHAHAHAHA that was last week when I made the black bean and mango salad...

All I really know is that I'm tired of boring food and I have found I am a better cook than I ever let on before LOL.

The little things in life.

Yesterday I found myself in an awesome frame of mind. I had an amazing day with all of the kids I take care of. The two year old was very sweet and snugly and I was getting "I love you" left and right from him. The new kids I take care of were all so excited to get to make mother's day cards for their mom and other babysitter (who is having a baby in July). The mom was super excited to get them too, of course. It's just such an awesome thing to see kids and their mom's bond and be so happy together. The 6 year old boy did me a huge favor and made my mother's day card to my mom and included a note from "my new friends" it was so precious and my mom immediately put it up on the fridge. :)

It set me to thinking, why do we always look so hard to find things to make us happy when it's all right in front of us if we just learn to appreciate those little things. A hand made card from a little kid, it's not just cute for a moment, that child put a lot of effort and glee into making it. It is an innocent true statement of their pure love.

Why do we think we have to hear the way someone feels for us when we can just appreciate their actions that show it? I'm not saying all the time it's a great substitute but when I sit next to Jeff and he rubs my foot with his, I know he loves me. It's such a sweet small gesture but it continually reminds me of how lucky I am to have him. There doesn't have to be a lot of bravado in the "I love you" but it is always there. (hahaha unless we're not feeling that "lovey" on a given day)

Even Lucy understands that sometimes it is really just enough to be able to sleep next to the person you love. In all the chaos of the day if I forget to take time to play with her, she is just as happy to come snuggle on my lap or next to me. Why do we as people take for granted the little things that make our world so complete? Is it not enough to know that the people you love just want to be near you?

Sometimes I'm awful at remembering to take the time to just spend with the family and friends who have been such a great support in my life. I know I need to be able to take more time to just sit and talk with those people. Thursday I made time to take one of the kids I no longer get to watch to the movies. We saw "How to Train Your Dragon" which was adorable. But what I took away more than the cute movie was the way my 9 year old friend clung to my arm and just wanted to be close to me because she missed me. We walked arm in arm to and from the theatre and enjoyed catching up on all that we've missed the last few months.

I guess what I'm getting at is, let's not forget to be grateful for the little things, love those who love you and remember to make time for them.

Cinco de Mayo

So...it's the 5th of May and we are all clamoring for the bars to have our Corona's and tequila in honor of Mexico's unlikely victory over France in 1862? An event that was 150(ish) years ago and while some Americans may have helped are we really obliged to celebrate? Or is this rather yet another reason to just simply get out and get drunk? Like St. Patrick's Day, Cinco de Mayo is really more of an excuse to drink than much of anything else. At least for Americans who can really only empathise with Mexico's plight with the French...seeing as they are still our allies rather than enemies. So, to all my friends who are out get their drink on tonight I say enjoy, be responsible and then claim to be Irish. We feel that it's a good night to drink as long as we're breathing :) (no offense to anyone intended...speaking from my own family generalizations)

Lol oh and for anyone wondering how Lucy ties into this story, Corona is her favorite beer :)

good food, good rides

Today's adventures started with a trip to the grocery store with Lucy riding shotgun. We picked up everything I need to cook dinner for this week. Here's to hoping that the rest of the week goes better than tonight. I made a black bean and mango salad, which is really good for those who like non-traditional salads and is very easy to make, just rinse a can of black beans and then combine with cut mango, cilantro, a roasted jalapeno and the juice of two limes. It's very tasty in my opinion but did not fly with the boyfriend. Thankfully, Lucy likes most of those ingredients and between her and I it won't go to waste. I served that with my fajitas which were pretty traditional I just added some of the extra jalapeno and cilantro to the mix as it cooked. Those turned out phenomenal.

But before I ever got to the making of dinner I took myself on a short motorcycle ride to Lake Michigan. I like to go there to get my head back on straight when I forget that the world doesn't revolve around me.

Today I decided to make it an extra treat and took along a partaga's black label cigar and picked up a bar of dark chocolate and a cup of coffee when I got to the beach to accompany it. The ride to the Lake was very exhilarating and I love the connection between me and the open road. I couldn't help but notice all the beautiful smells of spring, the flowers, fresh cut grass, oh...and the livestock LOL...guess you get one with the other. :)

I spent a good bit of time reading a new book. It's Deepak Chopra's Secrets of Life . While I don't need a lot of help at the lake getting inspired to feel a great connection to nature and the creator I find that his writings make it very easy. It's such a grand sense of just being that overcomes me when I'm sitting there staring at the vastness of the lake and enjoying the sounds that accompany it.

All decked out in my motorcycle gear I was approached by a Jehovah's witness on my way to a favorite spot. I smiled and was very kind when I told him I didn't care to see his copy of the Watchtower. He apparently was feeling very led to stop everyone on that particular path as I heard him and saw him speak to many people...too bad all of his flyers were not placed in their proper receptacles.

I left feeling so very refreshed and charged up for a good week. I was in such a great frame of mind to come home and make dinner for my love and hopefully get to enjoy just being with him...minus video games would have been a nice change, but I guess I can't ask for too much at once. Unfortunately all my great feelings about left when the woman in the black subaru thought she needed to pass too many cars at one time thinking that my spot in the line was a place she could get to. I became rather angry when I found myself in a position of being tailgated by her and it was only perpetuated when the car I was now closer than I cared to be to had to come to a stop to turn left. Thankfully, I am a skilled rider and was not in any real danger as I could safely maneuver around her. But, my anger went through the roof when the black subaru followed me around the other car on the shoulder and then proceeded to continue to tailgate me.

I can't say there was anything positive about that exchange and I hope that this driver realizes before she causes an accident that driving her steel cage on four wheels too close to a completely uncovered and unprotected motorcyclist on two wheels is very dangerous for the motorcycle rider only...she would have come out in no way harmed verses me.

Where to begin...

It is my hope in writing this blog that there will be some ability to merely get others to hear my voice and maybe know that they are not alone. I am 31 years old now and I am proud to say I am still alive. It may not seem like such a great fete to some but as we go along together you will find that it is more so than you might think.

Ok, so here we go...I am like I said 31 years old. I am relatively newly divorced...I have been in a great relationship since my divorce with Jeff. A great guy that is shockingly like my father, which I percieve to be a good thing. I am poised to move out of my parents home where I moved to get my ex-husband to leave me completely alone. While I am grateful for the time I am more than excited to be moving back out. I said goodbye to my brother, my aunt and an uncle all in 2006. I ride a motorcycle, I love my animals Lucy, my dachshund and Hemingway the persian mix feline. I hope to be a holistic veternarian when I grow up. I bake as a hobby, but rarely eat desserts. And maybe someday I will share with you all my beliefs about religion and spirituality.

So, welcome to my life as written and told by, well, me! :) I hope that together we will find some things to enjoy together.